Car and Driver - Quickest Pickups Article - Funny Story Follows

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EricM

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My SHO always makes quick work of the women driving agressively in their nasty looking $100K Range Rover Gumby.

The Ford EBs just dump grey smoke out of the pipes from running so rich at WOT on the stock tune- so they get the nasty smokescreen too.

The two lane onramps that merge down into one lane before the highway are where it always happens.
 

JoeSC

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My favorite move is when I’m cruising in the middle (proper) lane on the interstate and some a-hole decides he’s going to pass on the right because he’s going around people clogging the left lane. They always want to pass when my left side is completely clear and there’s only space left diagonally, but they’re too lazy to move over two lanes. I don’t feel like dying with my kids so we push in the throttle and easily block them out. If they pass on the left after, I wave them on so maybe one time in their life they’ll learn how to drive properly and not endanger other people.

And sometimes the same guy tries 3 or 4 times until he gets stuck WAYYYY back in the traffic—in the slow lane—when he could’ve gone around the correct side to begin with and have been on his way.

Note, that doesn’t apply in Kentucky where people actually seem to know proper lane discipline. If someone is passing you in the right there, there’s probably a tornado or something behind you. In Virginia, it applies to the left shoulder while you’re passing in the left lane. Yeah, I’ve had that happen. And I don’t drive slowly. I had a very grizzly beard at the time of that one. I have the guy an angry look and instead of cutting back in on me like those a-holes tend to do, he just kept on driving on the shoulder for about 100 ft and then moved over like nothing happened.
 

GordoJay

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My favorite move is when I’m cruising in the middle (proper) lane on the interstate and some a-hole decides he’s going to pass on the right because he’s going around people clogging the left lane. They always want to pass when my left side is completely clear and there’s only space left diagonally, but they’re too lazy to move over two lanes. I don’t feel like dying with my kids so we push in the throttle and easily block them out. If they pass on the left after, I wave them on so maybe one time in their life they’ll learn how to drive properly and not endanger other people.

And sometimes the same guy tries 3 or 4 times until he gets stuck WAYYYY back in the traffic—in the slow lane—when he could’ve gone around the correct side to begin with and have been on his way.

Note, that doesn’t apply in Kentucky where people actually seem to know proper lane discipline. If someone is passing you in the right there, there’s probably a tornado or something behind you. In Virginia, it applies to the left shoulder while you’re passing in the left lane. Yeah, I’ve had that happen. And I don’t drive slowly. I had a very grizzly beard at the time of that one. I have the guy an angry look and instead of cutting back in on me like those a-holes tend to do, he just kept on driving on the shoulder for about 100 ft and then moved over like nothing happened.
In Colorado, the middle lane is the slow lane. Passing on the right and left is routine. Terrible drivers out here.
 

JoeSC

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In Colorado, the middle lane is the slow lane. Passing on the right and left is routine. Terrible drivers out here.
Yeah, similar in Florida. That’s why the driving style felt so familiar when I was there last.

The traffic is so bad here (or used to be at least), I told my wife that if I die first I don’t want any sort of procession. The last thing I want to be remembered for is holding up traffic for hundreds of people trying to get to work or go about their day.
 
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