OK, I have a 2010 and I agree with some of your assessments. Yes the delay in transmission downshifts used to drive me crazy but the 5Star tune has aleviated some of that problem. My driver's seat heater has burned out once -a very common problem on these Fords.
I haven't heard about the upper control arm problems.
Unless there's something wrong with your truck, all 2010's are capable of fully shutting off traction control. You have to clear any warnings first, then press and hold trac control for 10 seconds. If you change anything (ie, 2 wheel to 4 wheel drive, O/R mode button pushed) you have to repeat this process.
Hope this helps.