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<blockquote data-quote="Ruger" data-source="post: 49155" data-attributes="member: 1594"><p>Oh no! Not another kidney scrubbing installment of…</p><p></p><p>THE RAPTOR CHRONICLES!</p><p></p><p>Eighty-three days have come and gone since our eternally impatient uber-hero placed an order for an Oxford White 2011 Ford F150 SVT Raptor with Raptor Plus Package and Tailgate Step. The number of cases of cheap beer consumed is uncountable, but our hero is hero indeed with the local aluminum recyclers. Several bottles of George Dickel Tennessee Whisky (both 80 proof and 90 proof) have been consumed. He has got the cleanest urinary tract in the northern half of the state.</p><p></p><p>And what does he find on his computer this fine, sunny Sunday morning but the window sticker for the truck that has haunted his nightmares (not to mention his daymares) lo these interminably long two and a half months. </p><p></p><p>Heaven! Nirvana! Paradise! And celebratory alcohol! What, you don’t believe there’s alcohol in heaven? Nonsense! At the last supper Jesus Himself promised that He would not drink wine again until He could drink with his disciples in Heaven. But do they have George Dickel there? Well, we’ll see what kind of taste they have in Heaven in due course.</p><p></p><p>In the mean time, our intrepid hero has in his fevered hands a piece of paper that proves beyond any doubt that the Ford Motor Company is going to build his SVT Raptor. And that is worth celebrating indeed.</p><p></p><p>But now the question is delivery. The truck will be born on January 3rd. (That’s a something of a concern. New Years is a whole holiday weekend this year. It may be that the Raptor will be built by inebriated Ford assembly line workers. At least they’ll be happy workers, and our hero hopes that this carries the day.) But when will it be delivered? When indeed? When, oh when?</p><p></p><p>Will our hero be able to wait out the assembly and delivery process? Will he win the National Cleanest Kidneys Contest? Will his white Raptor love him as much as he loves it? The answers to those burning questions in the next kidney stone pulverizing installment of…</p><p></p><p>THE RAPTOR CHRONICLES!</p><p></p><p>© Copyright 2010, <a href="http://www.kidneystonejewelry.com" target="_blank">www.kidneystonejewelry.com</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ruger, post: 49155, member: 1594"] Oh no! Not another kidney scrubbing installment of… THE RAPTOR CHRONICLES! Eighty-three days have come and gone since our eternally impatient uber-hero placed an order for an Oxford White 2011 Ford F150 SVT Raptor with Raptor Plus Package and Tailgate Step. The number of cases of cheap beer consumed is uncountable, but our hero is hero indeed with the local aluminum recyclers. Several bottles of George Dickel Tennessee Whisky (both 80 proof and 90 proof) have been consumed. He has got the cleanest urinary tract in the northern half of the state. And what does he find on his computer this fine, sunny Sunday morning but the window sticker for the truck that has haunted his nightmares (not to mention his daymares) lo these interminably long two and a half months. Heaven! Nirvana! Paradise! And celebratory alcohol! What, you don’t believe there’s alcohol in heaven? Nonsense! At the last supper Jesus Himself promised that He would not drink wine again until He could drink with his disciples in Heaven. But do they have George Dickel there? Well, we’ll see what kind of taste they have in Heaven in due course. In the mean time, our intrepid hero has in his fevered hands a piece of paper that proves beyond any doubt that the Ford Motor Company is going to build his SVT Raptor. And that is worth celebrating indeed. But now the question is delivery. The truck will be born on January 3rd. (That’s a something of a concern. New Years is a whole holiday weekend this year. It may be that the Raptor will be built by inebriated Ford assembly line workers. At least they’ll be happy workers, and our hero hopes that this carries the day.) But when will it be delivered? When indeed? When, oh when? Will our hero be able to wait out the assembly and delivery process? Will he win the National Cleanest Kidneys Contest? Will his white Raptor love him as much as he loves it? The answers to those burning questions in the next kidney stone pulverizing installment of… THE RAPTOR CHRONICLES! © Copyright 2010, [url]www.kidneystonejewelry.com[/url] [/QUOTE]
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