GEN 2 Seat cooling question

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FatBuoy

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Let me tell you my sad tale. I live in a fairly hot summer climate, and used my seat coolers probably four months out of the year. After about three years of this I began to have trouble with my ******. ***** movements became noticeably less comfortable, and there was some occasional bright blood. I chalked it up to aging at first. Heck several systems are showing their age, so why not my butt too?

Well matters got to the point that I could no longer ignore them, and I went to the doctor. Once I had my pants down and was bent over, I heard him take a fast, deep breath. He said that he wanted me to get a colonoscopy right away, and scheduled one for me while I was still in his examination room.

A week later I had the colonoscopy, and two days after that I was back in the doctor's office. And he gave me the bad news. I have aggressive RVH (Rampant Viral Hemorrhoids). They are slowly growing upwards in my GI tract and left untreated, they will eventually reach my stomach, then my esophagus, and then my brain. At that point my ass will kill me.

I, of course, was stunned. "How could this possibly happen?" I asked.

"Do you have cooled seats in your car or truck?" he asked.

"Yes! It's a godsend in the summer," I replied.

"There," he said. "That's how you contracted RVH. There is a virus that likes to live in automobile cooling systems, just like how Legionnaire's Disease likes to live in hotel cooling systems. If you have cooled seats, the microscopic virus particles are blown through the fabric of the seats and your clothing into your ******."

The treatment is horrific. There is this bottlebrush looking thing on a flexible cable, and a treatment solution that with repeated applications with the bottlebrush will eventually kill the virus. If you live in northern Nevada and you hear a long drawn out scream of pain every other morning, that's me on the toilet.

Take it from me and my raw hinderparts, turn off your seat coolers and never use them again!

WTF. Hahaha! That's a hell of an imagination.
 
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